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absence makes the heart
grow fonder.

wish

happy birthday, illya nafiza.
and happy fathers’ day.

dear dad,
i kept thinking that you’re still in msia and will be returning home soon..
till i visited you this morning.
i miss you, i love you. 

honey bee

2 weeks and a half of holidays have passed and i shamelessly declared that i’ve yet to do proper mugging for prelims. i did some revision here and there but i’m certain there’s still a long way to go. thus, in other words, i’m screwed for prelims. i’m totally guilty of going out too often, never leaving enough time to study each day. wtf am i thinking! i ought to slap myself silly. however, albeit the constant worry to start studying and the scorching hot sun, the holidays have been really good and i’m hoping it will continue that way.

and i heard SCHOOL HOLIDAYS MIGHT BE EXTENDED DUE SWINE FLU. FUCKING AWESOME YES? haha. but the MOE hasn’t confirm yet. so i’m praying on my knees they’ll extend it. for now, i’m looking forward to the weekends! (:

and oh, zee avi is extremely brilliant.

 

 

Semalam I call you, you tak answer. 
You kata you keluar pergi dinner. 
You kata you keluar dengan kawan you. 
But when I called Tommy he said it wasn’t true. 

So I drove my car pergi Damansara. 
Tommy kata maybe you tengok bola. 
Tapi bila I sampai you, you tak ada. 
Lagilah I jadi gila. 

So I called and called sampai you answer. 
You kata sorry sayang tadi tak dengar. 
My phone was on silent, I was at the gym. 
Tapi latar belakang suara perempuan lain. 

Sudahlah sayang, I don’t believe you. 
I’ve always known your words were never true. 
Why am I with you, I pun tak tahu. 
No wonderlah my friends pun tak suka you. 

So I guess that’s the end of our story. 
Akhir kata she accepted his apology. 
Tapi last last kita dapat tahu she was cheating too. 
With her ex boyfriend’s best friend – Tommy.

Kantoi.

tears

3 months.
i love you, Dad. 

silence

I MISS YOU.

wow.

skins

effy + freddie
january 2010. 

i’ll remember you till the day i die

i dreamt of him last night. i dreamt of him the previous night.  i dreamt of him the last 2 nights. i dreamt of him almost every night.  it had been more than 2 weeks since he left us. so sudden that at the point of time, it was too overwhelming to take it in as he was perfectly fine the day before. it tore me inside to see my mum and sisters like that. and it tore me inside as well to see him go. it’s really weird how we didnt see the little clues and events that actually hinted he was leaving us. now that we recalled back, everything seemed to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.

he was a great father. a perfect one, as a matter of fact. one that i would never replace with anything. never once did he beat us, nor lay his fingers on us. he scolded us out of love and only if we were in the wrong. i remembered how he pampered us with everything and making sure we are always happy. he was caring, taking care of me when i sprained my ankle. taking leave, ensuring that i wasnt alone at home and fetching me from school. and i thank god for that, i managed to spend time with him during that period before he left.

everything didnt seem to make sense when it happened. but one thing that did make sense was “he is in a better place right now.” i know he’s looking down on us from above. and sometimes, i feel his presence. but i miss him terribly. his voice, his laughter, his jokes, his concern. everything about him. flashbacks kept occurring at random times and i find myself in tears. but i got to be strong for my mum, my sisters, everyone. and especially myself. time; that’s all i need.

i love you, ayah.

silence

i feel so helpless.

holy cheesesticks

first day in school on crutches.
and i can’t take it already.
someone,  save me!!