i dreamt of dad last night. we were at our old house in teck whye. and he was leaving. ive no idea why, but he was. he was standing outside the door and started walking away. and in my dream, i remembered tugging his shirt and telling him not to go. he didnt respond but instead, he smiled. somehow, i suddenly realised that he was really leaving. i kissed him on both cheeks and hugged him as tightly as i could. and i could feel his arms embracing me. and in tears, i whispered “i love you, ayah.” and yet again, he didnt respond but just a smile.
now when i recalled the dream, i think it was really him in my dream. his soul, his spirit. returning to see how his daughter is doing. no words can describe how much i miss him. i miss him tucking me in bed. i miss him calling me ‘princess’ when he greeted me after school. i miss his voice. i miss everything bout him. if losing a dad hurts like crazy, i wonder how mum would have felt. she lost her husband, her best friend and her lover of 35 years. it must have been worse for her but it amazes me how she managed to pull through for the sake of her 3 girls. i love you mum. i love you dad. <3
